Oh, new year. You’re just around the corner and you’re heavy on my mind. I wouldn’t say 2012 was a waste (what a horrible thing to think of a period of time!), but it was definitely a blur. It was our first full year with diabetes. It was a year in which I was stuck between working and not working. It was a year where most of the “fun” Paul and I had was had separately because we didn’t feel comfortable enough yet leaving Cooper for an extended period of time. It’s a year we lived in a temporary dwelling and had no idea how long “temporary” might be.
Some of those things have already started to sort themselves out. We’re as settled as we’ll ever be with diabetes now that Cooper’s on the insulin pump, and we have an awesome support system that allows Paul and me to consider going on the occasional trip on our own. I’ve committed to focusing a little more on my career this year, which – in short – means working more. Working outside the home, yes, but also getting serious about some personal passion projects I’ve put on a back burner for several years now. And we think the end of temporary dwelling places is on the horizon (more on this in a few weeks!).
But what I’ve noticed most about this blurry past year is that I’ve let myself go. No, no, I’m not in sweat pants eating Swiss Cake Rolls (well…not every day…), but I stopped taking care of myself. It’s something that happens fairly regularly with moms, I think. There are others to take care of and provide for physically, emotionally, spiritually, and you slowly start to leave yourself out. A few months ago, I started really noticing that this had been happening over the last year, and I didn’t like it one bit. I absolutely feel like I need to take care of myself in order to do my best work as a wife, mother, friend, Christian, sister, daughter. So that’s what 2013 is all about for me. Making little changes that produce big results. Getting organized, getting healthy in my physical body, my mind and my spirit. Focusing on the things that are important TO me and FOR me. I like to think of it as a bit of selfless selfishness. I want to do better and BE better in all the various roles I play in my life, and for that to happen, I need to be healthy all the way around.
I do have a list of specific resolutions (the usuals: eat better, exercise more, read and study Scripture more often, procrastinate less, etc), but what I really want to focus on is being mindful every day that I am in control of my happiness and my attitude, even when I’m not in control of my circumstances. At the end of the year, I hope to look back and say, wow – I met my deadlines, I’m happy with where my career is (and/or where it’s headed), my family relationships are even stronger than they were last year, I traveled, I made my home a sanctuary, I’m physically stronger than before, my home (and by extension my life!) is more organized. Are these lofty goals? Sure. But they ARE do-able. And I’m excited about getting them done!